do you know how hard it is to have to pretend nothing happened and go on with life? do you know? no. oh, so i have to show it out so that people would understand isit. i chose it to keep it to myself. smile in front of you. pretend that i'm happy with my life, blah blah. i don't want people to sympathise me so i kept it to myself. i'll rather suffer than let other people suffer okay. do you know? no. you just think i'm some arrogant kid which copies homework and does nothing good. just because i appear to be more serious and hardworking, you say something is wrong with me or that i want to win. hello. it's not all about winning. and if i appear to be slacking, you all will say i am like that one la. fuck. do you know how much i suffered because i want to get good results? i want to be in the top 40 at least okay. i want to go take triple science okay.not to win people. i want to let my parents be proud of me okay. you don't know how much i gave up la. and how miserable i am now. i hate people with sucky attitude okay. it's just getting on my nerves these few days. show your bloody attitude somemore. just one word just now can make me cry okay. make it like as if it's my fault like that. you never say properly then what you want me to do. and anne frank, i finally know how you feel already, i understand. at least you still have peter, unlike me. fuck. this bloody day just gets worse and worse.